From Despair to Hope

- Viviana Castro -

My husband and I met in elementary school, reconnected after high school, and were married at 19 years old! We made the decision to leave everything behind, serve God together and begin a family. However, I began to lose faith in God when it wasn’t working out how we planned. I didn’t understand how a married couple of faith couldn’t conceive a child. So many around me were pregnant as hard as I tried to “relax” I couldn't help but ask myself “what is wrong with me?”.

Confusion turned into anger when months turned into years.

I questioned if we were even supposed to be married, and sat my husband down one night and talked about parting ways. I honestly believed that if he was free to marry another woman, at least he would have the chance to have children. He was so offended with my offer that he left the house for the first time in our marriage. In despair I told God, "please talk to me! Tell me what I am doing wrong?" I ended my prayer with,“Lord I know you have control over everything, if it is in your plans that I carry a child, I beg you not to allow the pregnancy be terminated, because my heart could not handle something like this.”

My husband came home the next day and even though we were upset at each other, we made the choice to continue believing that God would answer our prayer to become parents. My parents are pastors and we served alongside them in our church. We had an event that night and a prophet called us out by name to give us a word from God.  The prophet spoke over us that he gave me my husband for the rest of my life and that he doesn’t make mistakes. I had never experienced something like that before!

That night was a game changer for us, I firmly beleived that God had everything under control. In faith, we decided to see the doctor again in order to prepare for the pregnancy that was coming.

God began to provide for the treatments in very odd ways, and our journey began.  A year into treatment without any results, my cycle was delayed and I missed a round of clomid. After a second month of a delayed cycle, my doctor suggested medication to provoke it and we would go from there. I refused his suggestion and told him that I would rather wait.

My cycle was now 8 days late, but all of my pregnancy test were still negative. I went into my fathers office and he gave me an envelope addressed to me from Mexico. The letter read: “I’m bringing forward a new generation of change into the world, closed wombs I begin to open. Today, the diagnostic your doctor has given you I erase. Every organ in your body will align to my purpose telling each other: pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy.... If I am the one who causes this conception why would I allow it to be terminated.”

I didn’t understand what God was doing, but I went home and took my last pregnancy test. It was positive! I had plans to surprise my husband but I just screamed! Everything I ever wanted was right there! I called my doctor and when his nurse answered, I told her I had a positive pregnancy test. She was silent and put me on hold. When she came back on the line she told me to go into the office immediately.  

My doctor looked at my file, looked at me, ordered two urine tests and blood. Eventually he then moved me to the ultrasound room and I was finally able to see my 2 week old little Noah.  The doctor was in shock and said, “I am not sure what your beliefs are about God. But this, is impossible. I didn’t do this.”

In that moment I took back everything that infertility took from me. After 3 years of treatment and battles, we were finally pregnant!

Infertility can make us so focused on pregnancy that we don’t even think about what comes afterwards!  Things didn’t go according to plan with the delivery. I was dealing with a ton of symptoms when the doctor sent in another test and confirmed our worst fear: Preeclampsia. This a horrible disease with only one cure, delivery. I knew exactly who was trying to terminate Noah's birth. I remembered the prophetic word that Noah was part of a generation God would bring forward to cause change! Infertility can make us so focused on pregnancy that we don’t even think about what comes afterwards!

You’ll have plans, you have plans now. I know you do because we plan to numb the thought of infertility. But planning is not preparing, preparing is aligning your life to Gods purpose. We do that is seeking him above all things (Mathew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all of these things shall be added unto you). Are you preparing? Or are you planning.The enemy wants to distract you in order to strike, we know he has no authority over you. But he does have control over contaminating things around you Do not let him contaminate your fait. I advice you to prepare because this pregnancy you desire is coming and you have to be ready to live by pure faith.

What does my story have anything to do with you? The word I received in the mail wasn’t only for me, it's also for you. You are going to be used to bring forward a generation of change. Things that are this big require us to break through many obstacles and over come many earthy statistics. Thats why this huge test is upon your life! But the good news is you will defeat infertility, you will carry that child in your arms! God didn’t make any mistakes when he created you. This new generation will impact the world and change it for the better. God taught me to prepare so he could use me. So I encourage you to Prepare because its coming! We are praying for you.